7/31/05

It's dark in here.
Dark as night,
cool as winter,
silent as the moon.
No one can hear my screams,
there is no echo.
Where am I?
What have I done to deserve this?
Can't you see,
it's a waste of time to worry.
Stress.
What a joke.
We all put in as much as we give out,
or at least hope so.
I've been trying to make sense of all the shit in my life,
and found one thing out.
There's no sense in any of it.
ANY OF IT.
So why fight?
Why try to understand & make reasonable?
Maybe because that's what it's all about.
Fighting.
We learn best when we're under pressure,
like a deadline or a gun to our heads.
Ok, that's a lot of pressure.
But it gets done, right?
Maybe I'm overreacting.
Or just overanalyzing.
God knows I'm good at that.
It just seems,
everyone else is happy,
and I should be too.
But nothing seems to do it for me.
Is it something inside that just isn't willing to cave?
Not ready for me to be who I know I am?
Who am I?
Where am I?
Why am I?
None of it matters, really.
I can keep this smile on my face,
and yeah,
be happy to the extent that I know I can.
Don't worry,
don't try to cheer me up.
I'm good,
really.